


Words That We Couldn't Say

by universal_reno



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Endor, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Gen, M/M, No Beta We Die Like Clones, Post OT, Romance, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25817560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/universal_reno/pseuds/universal_reno
Summary: Anakin pays a visit to Rex after the fall of the Empire
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 5
Kudos: 144





	Words That We Couldn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sappy, less good spiritual successor to my fic Nightfall. Neither is in any way required to understand the other, but they kinda work together-ish? Eh, who am I kidding? This is really just another poorly thought out little love story. Force ghosts? Check. Belated love confessions? We got em. Yet another riff on the "I love you/I know" thing? You betcha.

Rex tipped his head back to stare up at the stars. Faint sounds of celebration filtered through the trees, but up here it was peaceful. He was as elated about their victory as anyone else, but he was too old to keep up with the pilots and soldiers as the party pushed on into the tenth hour after the Death Star had fallen. Besides, he had more important things to look after.

Ahsoka stirred slightly against him, rubbing her face against his thigh before she fell still again. He stroked her shoulder and smiled. When Ezra had returned from Malachor without her it had nearly broken him. But she was here now, against all odds, after everything. 

"You did good, Rex." 

He whipped his head around so fast his neck popped, but could find no source for the voice. Maybe he should get some sleep as well. Endor hadn't been much of a battle by the standards of the old days, but his stamina wasn't what it used to be either.

"Sorry, give me a minute."

Yep, definitely hearing things. Rex brought his hands up to scrub at his eyes. When he lowered them he found himself staring into the face of Anakin Skywalker.

"Guessing you can see me now" Anakin said, a playful smile tugging at his lips. Rex was sure his heart stopped for a moment before it resumed beating double time.

"I can see I need to get some damn sleep" he grumbled. He tried to force himself to look away, but couldn't. It shouldn't have surprised him that the little details of Anakin's face had dulled in his memory over the years, but he hadn't realized the extent of it until he laid eyes on this... Whatever it was. The apparition was so very _Anakin_ that it stole his breath away.

"You're getting old, Rex," Anakin teased. The smile wavered and smoothed out into something more serious. "I'm glad. Not enough of your brothers had the chance."

"Who - what are you?" Anger built in Rex's chest. How dare they? On today of all days, how dare anyone show him this? Mock the grief that had damn near killed him twenty years ago, now, in his brief moment of joy and accomplishment?

"Rex, hey..." The apparition reached for him, but instead of caressing his cheek its hand passed right through him. Rex felt _something_ though. Something warm and familiar if half forgotten. The shade of Anakin looked pained. "Guess I lost the right to do that a long time ago" it mumbled.

"I'll say." It was harsher than Rex intended. Why the hell was he worried about being harsh to a hallucination anyway? "Why turn up now?" _Why not back when I needed you?_

"I was... A little tied up. Wasn't dead yet, not physically, anyway." Ghost Anakin - if that was what he was implying now - grimaced. Rex followed his gaze down towards the forest floor where the ashes of Vader's pyre were cooling. It hadn't been his place to question Luke about his decision to give the Emperor's attack dog a proper send off. When Ahsoka had insisted on staying by his side for it Rex had gotten the sense that he was on the verge of learning a terrible secret he didn't want to know. He'd been smart enough to let it alone, but now it had found him anyway.

The next words came out in a rush of air that left him feeling like he'd been punched in the stomach. "So the rumors were true, then."

"The rumors that Viceroy Kryze is Obi-Wan's son? Absolutely." Rex's eyes flicked back to Anakin just in time to catch a flash of a smile before he turned serious. "The rumors that Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader... Also true."

For some reason all Rex could feel in that moment was jealousy. Appo had dropped off the map along with Anakin after the order had gone out, but had resurfaced months later leading the Imperial reincarnation of the 501st. It had taken the rebellion years to pin him down and neutralize him. Years he'd gotten to spend leading Rex's brothers at Anakin's side. Of course it hadn't really been Appo. Not after the chips went live. But he hadn't had to think. Hadn't had to feel. Hadn't had to be separated from...

"That wasn't me, Rex. I allowed it to become me; to consume me and burn everyone I loved in the process. But it wasn't me."

"How could you be…?” Rex shook his head. He'd spent more than half his life trying to rationalize what he'd become in the brief moment the chip had turned him against Ahsoka. He'd been him but not him. And then they'd killed Jesse but not Jesse. Anakin being both himself and not didn't make any more or less sense than that. "It's over now," he said. Because accepting that it had happened and was in the past was the only way to deal with it.

"It's over now," Anakin agreed. His voice carried the edge of a weary sigh even though the dead had no need for breath, regardless of when they'd actually died.

"I missed you," Rex confessed. "She missed you." He gave Ahsoka's arm another little squeeze. She still hadn't woken. He wondered if Anakin had used the Force to help her sleep, like he'd sometimes done in the old days when all the fighting gave her nightmares.

"I know. And I'm sorry." Anakin leaned towards him. Rex barely managed to resist trying to wrap his arm around his shoulders like he'd done so many times before. "You did right by her, Rex. Far better than I ever could have."

"Think she might disagree. She adored you. Still does."

Anakin's smile was a thin, brittle thing when he reached one hand towards Ahsoka. He stopped inches from where Rex's own rested on her arm. Rex glanced over at him to find his eyes closed. 

"You planning on talking to her this time? Or are you just going to let her walk away again?" He couldn't bring himself to feel too bad for Anakin's wince. It had been his choice to let her go, or at any rate not to follow. 

"I'll talk to her. Just...Later." Anakin withdrew his hand to rub the back of his neck. "Guess some things never change."

"Guess not." 

"I'm not quite as much of a coward as I was, though." Anakin forced fake brightness into his tone. Long experience put Rex instantly on the alert. Nothing good had ever followed when he sounded like that. 

"You were never a coward, sir." The absurdity of addressing a ghost as sir struck him as soon as he said it. If Anakin even noticed, though, he seemed content to leave it alone. Too lost in his own thoughts by the look of it.

"I was. And I want to make that right. At least part of it. I love you, Rex. I always did. I should have said it a long time ago." 

"I know."

Anakin's lips moved but no sound came out. After a couple of seconds he managed a weak laugh. "Well that wasn't the reaction I'd expected."

Rex leaned in until they were as close as they could be without touching. Closing his fingers around Anakin's and feeling nothing but air would shatter the illusion, and damned if he didn't need to believe this was real right now. 

"I knew it when you trusted me to look after Ahsoka, and when you helped me chase down Echo. When you cried so hard over Fives that you couldn't even fly back to base, and when I held you after Umbara and you couldn't stop shaking..." His throat was growing so tight it hurt to speak. He squeezed his eyes closed and continued anyway. "I knew it every time you touched me or looked at me like I was something special. You were a reckless idiot, Anakin Skywalker. You drove me out of my mind sometimes, but I never doubted you loved me. And I never stopped loving you either."

When Rex opened his eyes he found Anakin staring back at him in awe. The air felt charged the way it sometimes did right before a storm. The Force, maybe, or something else. Anakin closed the distance between them. He was still insubstantial. Rex knew there was a good chance he only imagined the whisper of warmth against his lips, but he chose to ignore that knowledge. 

"I want to come home to you" he said once the feeling had faded. "War's finally over and I'm tired of missing you."

Anakin's smile was sad but genuine. "Soon. But not yet." He glanced down at Ahsoka, then out through the trees towards the distant glow of the bonfire where the rebel fighters were still celebrating. "There are people here who need you, Rex. You know better than anyone that wars don't just end overnight. I'll be waiting for you when it's time. I won't disappear again. I promise."

"You better not." The night air cooled the tears streaking his cheeks almost before they could be replaced with fresh ones. 

"I swear it. I'm done letting you down." 

Suddenly the night didn't feel quite so cold. Anakin's ghostly form wavered for a moment, but his smile remained as brilliant as Rex had ever seen it. Ahsoka yawned and nuzzled against his hand. 

"I have to go for now. It's...I need to figure out what to tell her. How to explain-"

"It's alright, _cyare_. Do what you need to. I'll keep waiting for you as long as it takes."

"You don't have to wait, Rex. I'm always with you." Anakin's voice was already growing fainter and farther away. "Be strong, my love."

As suddenly as he'd appeared he was gone. Ahsoka stretched and pushed herself up to sit resting against Rex's chest. He looped his arms around her waist to pull her closer. 

"Rexter? Who were you talking to?" She rubbed her eyes and turned in his arms to glance up at him. "Hey, what's wrong?" She brushed her fingers gently over his cheeks, wiping away the dampness there.

"It's nothing. Just ghosts." 

Ahsoka made a quiet noise of sympathy and ducked her head against his chest. It was tricky to maneuver his chin to rest between her montrals now, with how tall they'd grown, but he'd been doing it since they were kids and wasn't about to stop now. Ahsoka gave a tiny wiggle of contentment and snuggled closer against him. 

"Do you think...Do you think they're watching over us? Anakin and Obi-Wan and Jesse and the others?" she asked.

"I know it, kid. Right here beside us." 

And they always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh yeah, I totally just went there with Satine's 'nephew'


End file.
